Search for Lights & Embrace the Darkness

Almost three weeks after the big day, still I cannot come up with the annual summary as I used to have. The past 2012 was too much to take, to digest, and to recover. It was too overwhelming that I struggled every day and night bagging a calm mind and a fulfilled soul. It was so wild that I found no comfort zone but fighting to survive out of cougars and lions.

Everyone said the day would come. I never believed that, and I never will because I don’t have to.

While mostly what I did before is to learn the reality, in 2012 I had to take it by adjusting my values, my core, and my life. This sucked, definitely; however, by looking back I feel glad that I am able to say “thank god” as all these are early in my journey, making the reborn less painful.

  • It was a year when two of my most important friends in GT graduated and left Atlanta.
  • It was a year when I got to know certain people but left them shortly afterwards.
  • It was a year when I voluntarily stepped out the comfort zone and kept doing so despite that this not only scared me off but also knocked me hard.
  • It was a year when I was under many uncertainties and realized I can hold diverse points in almost every aspect.
  • Passed thesis proposal and believed to finish defense of dissertation before the big day but failed
  • Conducted a few promising job interviews in NYC regarding computational finance and planned about the future but failed
  • Broke through on research and struggled to land in a conference paper publication but failed
  • Strived to secure a position in “big-brand” IT companies but failed

The only thing I did right throughout the entire ups and downs is to pull myself together. The future can be no easier but at least I had the appetizer first. So, bring them all on!

Last but not least, THANK YOU! All of you motivating me, cheering me, confusing me, and failing me. It is 100% a cliché to say that my life would suck without you, but even with you my life sucks (LOL). However, it’s you that leads me to a brighter life to search for lights and embrace the darkness.

while(true) std::cout << “Thank you <3” << std::endl;


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